Constant

It’s always there. It doesn’t take breaks. It doesn’t have vacation days. 

It doesn’t go away like some people think. 

It’s constant.
Oh. 

I’m talking about my physical pain by the way.

I have an auto-immune dis-ease called Endometriosis. 

The womb or uterus has a lining called the endometrium. It’s the lining that’s shed during menstruation. If you did biology and covered the vagina and menses then you know that the egg travels down the fallopian tube (Ovulation) then waits for sperm in the uterus attaching itself to the endometrium. 

When the egg doesn’t meet it’s soul sperm 😂, the endometrium starts shedding.. Periods. 

I feel my egg travelling down the fallopian tube. I feel my ovulation. 

My endometrium doesn’t shed. It’s reabsorbed 😥😥

I feel it bad. 

My endometrium is thick. Thicker than average and because its reabsorbed it can also grow on the fallopian tubes, ovaries, and in rare cases lower back muscles and other places. It works like a muscle during periods. So wherever it is in your body, it will “wake up” at that time and kick in some Rocky Balboa punches. 😩

Doctors don’t really know why. Some say our bodies produce extra estrogen and that’s the reason we have Endometriosis. 

Now most people especially women think after my periods I’m supposed to be okay neh? 

Nope. 

I have back, neck and shoulders pain. Everyday. This pain gets worse approaching ovulation. That’s when I know to go get my stash of pain meds. I’m on Tramadol. Sigh. 

Then as soon as the New Moon appears, signalling a new month,  my periods start. And the pain kicks up a notch to 300%. The pain medicine doesn’t really stop the pain. It just numbs it to a point where I can do stuff. 

So I still feel pain. 
It’s been 15 years. 

At first it was just the period pain.. Then the ovulation pain joined in. 

Now it’s the constant back, neck and shoulder pain. I don’t have to take medicine for them. I got used to it. I do Yoga, and honestly I’m supposed to have one of those really hard mattresses cause that chills out the back pain. However my mattress dips so I wake up in pain. 

I had to consciously teach my jaw NOT to clench when I’m in pain. 

I know there are other women out there that have really bad pain. And that you’ve been checked and told there is nothing wrong. 

Pain is an indicator that something is wrong. 

I know how you feel. Especially when I just want to be in bed and read or watch something, but stuff isn’t being done so I have to swallow 2 of them Tramadols and then do what hasn’t been done. Or when I can see someone isn’t feeling well so I’ll help them. 

I am used to the pain after all. I can handle it. 

I just get really moody and I can snap quick cause I didn’t want to be there in pain doing stuff. 

I wanted to be relaxing. 

However I’m an empath. I help those I love. 

It doesn’t get better. 

I had to learn that quick. 

I also learnt that I have to watch what I eat. 

And exercise even if I don’t need it. 

I don’t ask for pity. 

I rarely say anything. 

I live with it. 

15 years. 

My dear sisters. I know your pain. 

I feel it everyday. 

Don’t accept the “there’s nothing wrong you’re fine” narrative. 

As I said. Pain is an indicator that something is wrong. 

✌& 💜

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