I thought I wouldn’t have to write about this.
Now. Now I think I need to.
It’s becoming infuriating that I hear these words as soon as someone sees me after a long time.
“Umekonda-You’re so skinny”
I have never been chubby or fat. Except when I was a baby. After 2 all that weight poof! Gone. I started my long stretching journey into the skies.
I’ve never had big thighs or a pudgy stomach.
I’ve never had wobbly arms or a double chin.
My bum hasn’t ever had huge amounts of fat that you could say I have a phat ass.
I’m my short 20+ years I’ve been tall and slender.
My weight seesaws between 49-55 Kgs.
The general population wants me bigger.
I’m yet to understand this fascination with my weight. Why it’s such a big deal to women and men alike that I should add weight.
How would it help you?
Or does it hurt your eyes that I’m tall and slender?
“You should eat more”
Hmm…. Eating more is the solution?
Do you know how much I eat?
Are you there when I’m piling my plate higher than those Scooby Doo & Shaggy sandwiches?
“you should change your diet”
Have you been with me as I tried every diet on this planet to fit into your perception of what my weight should be.
Humans. I don’t understand you.
I realised I’m happy with my skinniness.. My tall slender frame. My tall & slim frame.
It’s you humans who have a problem.
Because for you to point out that I’m skinny means you have an issue with skinny.
This is my body.
You on the other hand….
Go think why it’s so important to you that I should be fat.
It took such a long time for me to be happy with myself.
Healing from skinny jokes.
‘you’re so skinny you have to run around the shower for the water to hit you.’
‘you’re so skinny someone will try and cut your legs thinking its the string from your shorts’
‘you’re so skinny you can be used as a suicide rope’
I’m not making these up…
And those are just some of them.
So yes. I went on fat diets.. Tried everything under the moon to get bigger because I hadn’t reached that point in my life where what you had to say about my body didn’t matter.
Then I went to rehab. And got “fat”
My body weight was 65Kgs.
My thighs were “fat”
My hips were humongous
And my bum… Well I could feel my bum when I walked.
And I wasn’t comfortable.
I HATED being “big”
The only reason I gained all that weight was because I was in one compound for 3 months. 90 days in one spot. Sitting, doing nothing.
I wasn’t walking to uni, or work.
I wasn’t going anywhere to see anybody.
I literally slowed down for 90 days.
That was a forcibly slow down for my metabolism. (does that sentence even make sense? Meh!)
There was one thing I didn’t like though..
Apparently if I lost all that weight after leaving it was an indication that I was using again..
😂 😂 😂 😂
I dropped that weight quick!
Barely 2 months after leaving rehab I was back to 55Kgs and kept losing weight till I felt comfortably “skinny”.
Rehab made me realize that I was born to be slim, skinny, slender. That’s just my body weight.
Sometimes if I’m really stressed, even if I eat I lose weight. It doesn’t bother me. Cause I know I’ll get it back.
For a few weeks or months, I’ll have that chiseled feminine look. But I’m cool with it.
My cheeks will come back eventually.
That’s just who I am.
If I let my malicious side rule, I’d ask every single person that asks me why I’m so skinny, why you so fat.
(because it’s generally “fat” people that ask me)
That would hurt.
So I don’t. (Plus I don’t like my malicious side of me. She’s nasty.)
Asking me why I’m so skinny hurts.
Asking me why I’m so skinny honestly shows how much you think about people and what they look like.
How is MY weight YOUR problem?????
Puhlease… Get off your high horse and start looking at yourself. Look at your weight. If the first thing you can tell me is “oh you’re so skinny” then boo boo you have a serious serious problem and I’m not it.
Stop projecting your ideals on people.
Stop projecting what you think someone should look like on others.
Start ACCEPTING PEOPLE AS THEY ARE!
If someone feels they are too skinny or fat, they will feel it. They don’t have to be told. I’m sure everybody has a mirror & they look at it.
They’ll figure out BY THEMSELVES if they need to lose or gain weight.
Your comments don’t help them. They actually hurt them.
People rarely have eating disorders because they woke up and decided.
People have eating disorders because we kept pointing out how they are too skinny or too fat or too this or too that.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me”????
Fuck that saying…
It’s sticks and stones can break my bones and words WILL HURT!
Your tongue is a powerful tool.
Very, very powerful.
Stop using it to DEGRADE & UNDERMINE.
Start using it to EMPOWER & UPLIFT.
✌ & 💞
P. S. MAJORITY of the people in my family are tall and skinny…. It runs in the family ☺ 😃 Except for a few women -The My Mom & Sister & GrandMom-They gorgeously petite and voluptuous. 💜😍